Everyone can relate. No one is immune to the snags of life which pull us back or even hang us up. Housework, life work, even homework when the kids are sick and need some extra help (homeschool or public school applies!). We even must ‘play catch-up’ when we haven’t seen someone in a while and simply must fill-in the blanks of all which has happened ‘since’.
I have procrastinated blogging because each started with ‘catch-up’. I skipped over the sentiment this past fall in order to dig straight into the dirt on various holiday happenings. Then, with the New Year, I hit that snag, especially after a friend informed me of how she has been pointing her prayer group to my blog for health updates. I had no idea! Fact is, while our battle with Multiple Myeloma (cancer) has felt like a very public one, it would seem it has, in fact, been quite private as I review giant gaps of information on both social media and blogging platforms! Do you ever do that? Have so much going on in your head or with immediate family, you feel like it is all so ‘out there’ when it actually is not? I couldn’t seem to move forward on Faith and Home’s next things without, somehow, catching-up the chasm behind. After all, “Hey, I have cancer” is not a statement you plop out there and then just never address or update again!!
Why is this even important? Ann Handley in “Everybody Writes” says NOT to waste a bunch of time by trying to “get a running start” when writing. Maybe she is correct. Yet, somehow I feel compelled to share about everything since June because we all ‘play catch-up’ sometimes and here is my point: God is in those missing moments, HE is the substance we need to share.
From the “Life Lately” post where I simply presumed to be dealing with my Fibromyalgia run-amuck, to an update two months later as I was reflecting on “The Other Side of Darkness” and how Cancer almost took my life, I sort of let the ball slip from there. Perhaps because the challenges were not over. Trying to write while going through something I was still learning to understand, never left my journal pages or personal conversations. It felt like such an out-there part of me, while at the same time, I did not want to garner any unnecessary attention to self and apparently kept it rather quiet. Now, the reason to fill-in the gap is because God was ever-present and I can’t help but sing His praise….
Where June left off
Ordered to NOT walk (while yet needing to walk as part of my spinal surgery recovery) because my femurs were so eaten-thru by the Myeloma and a large tumor in each, they feared even a simple step would cause them to break. Surgery was scheduled for July to insert a rod in each for stabilization. With my youngest daughter’s baby shower looming in just three weeks, I was assured this routine surgery would have me in – out – and UP almost immediately.
Admitted first thing on a Tuesday for the procedure which was planned over two days (one day per leg), by afternoon the first leg was done and I was up and walking around, even chatting along and working out final plans for the upcoming shower. I was excited and ready for day 2 and discharge. Before heading off to surgery on Wednesday morning, Ashley and I packed up my things and she went to wait in her designated area. Hubby stayed home to work because all was routine.
But then it wasn’t.
My last memory of that day was being wheeled into surgery, seeing the metal rods on the table and the tools being prepared. I was lined up with the operating platform then the ‘mask’ went on and sleep. A brief flash still recalls of later in that day, of my husband standing at my bedside looking concerned and holding my hand… otherwise… nothing. That is, not until Thursday around 6 am when I woke in ICU, strapped to the bed and confused, unable to talk and ask for help due to a tube in my throat.
By 8 am I was gratefully released from both bondages, and as conversations were played out I learned what was in-between:
Surgery went well, rod was inserted, however, as the rod was jammed in (seriously!!) it dislodged something. We received mixed info on this part but what we do know is, this “something” caused a pulmonary embolism and the fight for my life on the O.R. table ensued. When the team had yet to barely get me stabilized, doc reported to Ashley what was going on. Family was called and quickly arrived to pace together. With the help of a ventilator, I was finally breathing, but the machines were the only thing keeping me alive. I’m told I had some consciousness where I scribbled in the back of my journal, “Am I dying” and “activate prayer chain” (the rest of my scribbles are illegible).
The whole ordeal was scary for everyone. It also set me back with recovery in the second leg since I was unable to get up and walk around as quickly as the first. The embolism left a track of blood clots throughout my lungs requiring oxygen for some days afterwards and I ended up staying in the hospital for a full week as they monitored me closely. The whole ordeal also caused a lot of blood loss and distress to my already struggling hemoglobin because of the cancer. I ended up with transfusions and iron to keep me going. Discharge was reluctant on the hospitalist’s behalf, but I was done with the hospital and promised to visit my oncology center (5 minutes away) for monitoring and more iron.
So, why is this a GOD story?
#1, it is the second time He spared my life in as many months. That embolism could have happened after discharge once I was home and would have surly died. But instead, it was instantaneous where they could work to save my life.
#2, my recovery, though hard, was rather quick. It wasn’t without its bumps but it was forward moving. Since my return home from the first hospital visit in May-June, I had been sleeping on a bed in my office because stairs to my bedroom were impossible. My office is also our guest room when company comes. In addition, I was needing a commode because our bathroom was not set-up for my physical impairments at the time. The week stay in the hospital and complications with surgery in July, meant I had only ONE week to make enough of a recovery to walk up and down stairs AND use the regular bathroom so that guests could comfortably stay in my office.
It was hard and I pushed… squatting and climbing when energy was rock-bottom from low hemoglobin and high chemo along with surgical recovery in both thighs AND not being able to bend from back surgery still healing, was hard …to say the least. Simply, we prayed and sought God’s strength, and help, and healing. We could have cancelled the baby shower and company, but something compelled me NOT to.
A few days before company arrived, I made it down the stairs to sleep in my own bed for the first time in months. A day before our house started to fill up, I no longer needed the commode! The work exhausted me and I needed naps as a result – I was ok with that, though - God heard prayers and we did it!!!
Then, a month later, as I began radiation treatment on my spine and thighs, God walked us through every step of the 3 week excursion as well. The side effects were very minimal, I did not even have more than a day of trouble with my esophagus as they expected it to swell for a few weeks. The good Lord even kept my grandbaby from coming early so I could finish treatment AND have a week of rest before we made the 8 hour drive to welcome her when she came into this world at the end of September.
Every nurse, doctor, tech…. you name it, who sees me for the various specialties we have needed to navigate, does a double take on me and/or my chart when they see how well I am ambulating and now, the fact, while Myeloma is "incurable" we are in a form of remission after only 5 months of inconsistent treatment (because of surgeries). More than one has told me I should not be here today and numerous have marveled at my ability and, even more so, at my attitude.
The thing is, and I always share this whether I know if they are a Believer or not, it is ALL God.
Cancer makes you feel scared and hopeless. A daunting disease brought on by a fallen world. I did all the right things – I didn’t smoke or drink or do drugs… I ate right, cooked from scratch, stayed active…. All the things they say to do in order to be healthy. Yet, cancer. The evils and flaws of this world may exist – but God prevails.
Whether cancer had taken my life in May or surgery in July, or the fact that it did not, God is still Good and He is still writing my story. He made a way where there seemed to be no way and brought me to this day to share just that… and to keep moving forward as a writer, entrepreneur, mother, and wife.
Running starts are not needed, Ann is right about that, but a ‘catching-up’ of this kind because, “Hey, it’s been a while, how have you been?” requires so much substance, I’d be leaving out the best of God if I didn’t.
How have YOU been? What has God been doing in your life since you last popped by?
Blessings,
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